Something random, but awesome.

Best...commercial...ever. I literally bought the song within 2 minutes of seeing this on TV.

Doing life together

Our home team has spent a lot of time encouraging each other through hard times as well as mourning together through many losses. It was so fun to finally let loose and celebrate!

Highlights: Deb's infamous monkey story, TJ's hair (or lack thereof), random ballroom dancing couple, the home team sweep of both the bouquet toss and the garter toss, Vinnie the DJ and Courtney's impromtu love song.

God is faithful

Three years ago, our singles home team started praying. We prayed that God would provide a godly husband for Jen. There were times when it was hard, sad, depressing and just plain annoying.

After three years and hundreds of prayers, God more than proved himself faithful this Saturday. I could go on and on about how the rain stopped just in time, how the moment Pastor Miller prayed to thank God for the weather the sun came out and countless other blessings. But I'll leave you with the picture because it says it all. God is faithful.

Bobby and Jen Simmers

Thank God for new life!

The Logans have a boy!!!! I got to see him from far away at baby dedication this past Sunday and he's a cutey! For those of you who weren't there, check my newest favorite baby boy in the nursery, Jude William!

Rethinking the Ten Commandments

Had a chance two weekends ago to attend Lake Ave Church, a large multi-cultural church in Pasadena, California. It's known for its huge pipe organ (pipes 32 feet high...let's just say your entire body rattles when they hit those notes), huge congregation and complete lack of parking.
Anyway, the pastor is doing a series on the Ten Commandments and the way he has rephrased them really got me thinking. Here they are:

1. Let God Be God (What causes, relationships, goals or practices are more important and absorbing to me than God?)
2. Worship God as He Is (Do I know and worship God as He truly reveals Himself to be in the Bible, or do I make Him into someone or something that I want Him to be?)
3. Honor God's Name with Integrity (If you claim to be a Christian, with Christ's name on you, do you truly live out what you claim to be, or have you been a hypocrite in any area?)
4. Follow the Rhythms God Establishes (Are you willing to accept God's schedule for your life? Do you work six days "as unto the Lord"? Do you give God the best parts of your time for His worship?)
5. Love and Respect Your Parents (Have you made every effort to show members of your immediate family, especially your parents, all the love, consideration and respect that you can?)
6. Treat Human Life as Sacred (Have you ever harbored malice, ill-will, bitterness, or though unkindly of anyone? Have you done harm through actions, words or thoughts to those made in God's image?)
7. Keep Pleasure Undefiled (Have you been intimate or allowed your mind to indulge in desires of intimacy with anyone to whom you are not married?)
8. Take Only What God Has Given You (Have I envied or taken from others any time, services, money or goods to which I did not have a right?)
9. Tell and Live the Truth (Do you walk with integrity, keep your promises, speaking with complete honesty?)
10. Be Content (Are you able to thank God for whatever He has allowed to come into your life? Do you trust his goodness, wisdom and help in every area?)

Number 2 and 10 have been spiritually kicking my butt this week and forcing me to reevaluate several areas. What about you?

He's healing my heart

I've been super excited this past week since I found out John Eldredge had written a new book called Walking With God. I loved Waking the Dead and from what I could see the new book was going to be good too.

In Waking the Dead, John had talked about "agreements" we make with Satan without even really thinking about it. Usually they are subtle, but damaging statements that the Enemy whispers to us and we agree. Our hearts are in bondage to the agreement we made. So I got to the part in the new book where John describes his journey of wrestling with an agreement he had made long ago and not even realized it. He discovered that much of his drive to "do it himself" and drivenness that caused immense stress in his life was caused by the overwhelming conviction that Love will never stay. Through experiences in his life, he been wounded and never healed from that. His story of healing was cool so I thought, what the heck, why not try it myself...

I've learned to never underestimate God. I was driving to work this morning and I asked God, "Okay, reveal to me if I've made any agreements with Satan, ones that I've shoved down and not dealt with." So I kept driving, keeping my heart wide open for whatever.
Well, that "whatever" hit me in the chest like semi. I started thinking about how Monday I'm going to be getting my "Teacher of the Year" award at a special ceremony. Ever since I heard I'd won, I've never been excited. I faked being excited, but the award always felt hollow and disappointing. I started thinking, "Why? Why am I the only one not excited about this?" Then the agreement You're not good enough started ringing in my head like a bell, softly at first than over and over and over. Suddenly, the pain of the last few months overwhelmed me and years of people-pleasing drilled into me. I realized I was being attacked, quite literally.

It all made sense. I spent years growing up in a church that looked at me, a pastor's kid, and demanded perfection. I was never good enough. Here I am the daughter of two musicians and I can't really play any instrument proficiently. I never got good enough to do anything with it. I go to college and I don't fit the bill of the "cool college girl". I'm not good enough. I get my first job and within my first week, my principal literally tells me during a 2 hour conference, "You're not good enough". I work in a school system that is constantly reaffirming to teachers "You're not good enough". I teach at an underperforming school where the State has come in and told me, "You're not good enough". I've had numerous parent-teacher conferences where all I've heard is, "You're not good enough". I step out in faith to interview for international teaching jobs and all I get is rejection letters and silence with a growing fear of "I'm not good enough".

Within 10 seconds, these memories wash over me and I am in emotional, spiritual and physical pain. Thankfully, I remember that this is not me. This isn't true. I am good enough. I am loved and saved by the Creator of the Universe and He has gifted me and given me a purpose. I pray and pray and my praying becomes yelling Scripture out loud and finally I got to the point where whatever and whoever was attacking me left. I knew I needed Christ's healing and protection before I was attacked again and suddenly there was peace.

As this day has gone on, I've found myself reminded of the fact that I've lived out my life under the assumption that I'm not good enough. And it's crippled me. My prayer life is much more fervent now as I pray for repentance from making this agreement and reaffirming it most of my life. I pray for protection and healing for my heart as I try to learn how to live without fear of not being good enough.

I know it will take time for this wound to heal since it's been wide open for years now, but I'm amazed at how loved and at peace I am. I know I'll be battling the feeling of inadequacy and trying to keep it at bay, but I'm comforted by so many verse that tell me that I am good enough. Through Christ Jesus I have God-given talents and I have a future.

And what do you know? I'm actually excited about Monday's ceremony now.

Whatever You're Doing

Every once and a while a song comes along that pierces directly to where you're at in life. When this song came on the radio for the first time, I almost had to pull my car over because I was bawling. Here's a YouTube recording of it with the lyrics below.


It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong

There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
But I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills?

So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...To...

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
But I'm giving into something Heavenly.

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly.

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly.