What kind of legacy is in a name?

So when I was a freshman in college, I took a humanities course where we would have small group meetings with a professor three times a week for the entire year. There were only 15 students so we got to know each other fairly well. Our beloved wacky professor (who wore, yes, bow ties!) would distinguish between all the girls in our class by our names: Patriarch wives and Pagan names. This sounds horrible, but we had three Sarahs, two Rebekahs and two Rachels. The Pagan(non-Hebrew) names were the two Julies, two Katies, etc. So I always thought it was pretty sweet to be the Patriarch wife instead of the pagan.
However, after reading through the Genesis account again, I have to say, I'm not too impressed with Sarah, Rebekah or Rachel. Here's some observations of these ladies:

• They all struggled with fertility problems. Notice I used the word "struggled", not just were "depressed" or "disappointed". This was a major part of their culture to have children. Sarah and Rachel were so impatient and wanting to do things their way that they gave their maidservants to their husband. By the time we get to Rachel, she should have known God would be faithful considering the family history.
• They all had some bright, shining moments and some moments of incredibly bad judgement. Sarah was impatient and hurtful. Rebekah played favorites and was manipulative. Rachel was jealous, whiny and duplicitous (she obviously prized those household gods to actually steal them from her father).

So this makes me wonder what kind of legacy will I leave with my name? As a teacher, there are names I cringe at because I automatically associate them with former students that were less than admirable. My brother ended up with a beloved relative's middle name instead of first name because another, shady relative also shared that first name. When people say my name, what do they automatically associate it with?

I want to be the opposite of those Patriarch wives. My hope is that they associate my name with someone who is patient, caring, someone who is fair, just, trusting, civil and genuine.

What legacy will your name leave?

S.O.A.P. and much, much more!

Pastor Greg did an awesome job today equipping the congregation for Bible study. Not only did he show us the S.O.A.P. method of studying the Bible, he also talked about attitude toward Bible reading. Here's what stuck out to me today:

• "You can celebrate God in a crowd, but you can only get to know Him in private moments" So true! I went to a Christmas party about a month ago at a friend's house and there were at least 40 people crammed into her cute bungalow. The stereo was as loud as possible, everyone was chatting and basically you were just there to celebrate, not to get to know anyone. It was only when my friend and I went to a quiet room by ourselves that we were able to really catch up and get to know each other, away from the music, the noise and everything else.
• "Having an open heart doesn't mean you accept everything." I hate it when people say if you disagree with them, that you are "close-minded". Just because I have a moral compass with which I analyze and evaluate positions and statements doesn't mean I'm "close-minded". It means I'm using the brain God gave me!
• Spiritual maturity can be defined as going out and "feeding" others. Who are you pouring into?

S.O.A.P. stands for Scripture, Observation, Application and Prayer.

Here's my example from today:

Scripture

Psalm 11: I trust in the LORD for protection. So why do you say to me, "Fly like a bird to the mountains for safety! The wicked are stringing their bows and fitting their arrows on the bowstrings. They shoot from the shadows at those whose hearts are right. The foundations of law and order have collapsed. What can the righteous do?"

But the Lord is in His holy Temple; the LORD still rules from heaven. He watches everyone closely, examining every person on earth. The LORD examines both the righteous and the wicked. He hates those who love violence. He will rain down blazing coals and burning sulfur on the wicked, punishing them with scorching winds. For the righteous LORD loves justice. The virtuous will see His face.

Observation

The first part reminded me of some of the late night preachers you see who are preaching "doom and gloom" on America and are urging you to "fly like a bird to the mountains for safety!", sometimes quite literally. The Psalmist doesn't even budge, but puts trust completely into the hands of God. God is the Judge, not me, not the "religious", not even the righteous. It's God who judges, I am not the final say, nor is any other person.

"He hates those who love violence" Hmmm...I wonder how many Christian men have ever really read that and thought about their own attitudes toward violence. How many times have I heard, "I loved that part when the guy's head was blown off! That was sweet!" and I just cringe. Let me write that a little clearer for you. He. Hates. Those. Who. Love. Violence. Did you see what God does to those who love violence?

Favorite part was "the virtuous will see His face". Not just have a casual acquaintance, not see Him as He heads off to do something important. See...His...face. Awesome.

Application

For me, there is a sense of no matter what calamity is upon me, no matter what the hopeless situation, I have to know deep within me that God will be my protection. That has been really hard, especially when I see injustice or experience injustice that I cannot change. A friend of my family's was unjustly fired and the administrator used "Christian-speak" to fire her. He literally told her that it was God's will to move on. It was devistating not only for her, but for everyone else involved. I'm still mad at the administrator, but I realized, oh my gosh...he's got to contend with the God of the Universe for firing an older single woman with no family who was doing His will. That's worse than anything I could ever do or say to him.

And the last part...this should be my prayer...to be one of the virtuous to see His face.

Prayer

Lord, You know my heart, You know how much it irks me to see others mistreated and how much I want to take things into my own hands and "fly like a bird". But You've said You have that covered and that my job is to seek after Your face and rest in Your holiness. Let me not be distracted by other things, no matter how "important" or "essential" they may seem. May I always seek Your kingdom first above all else. Amen.

Home Team Round-Up

Here are some thoughts from Thursday night's home team discussion:

• Some spiritual disciplines that have encouraged our growth of faith were prayer, reading God's Word, having a spiritual mentor, meditation (not the creepy "Om" stuff, just resting in God's presence), praying one-on-one with someone, seeking spiritual wisdom, having an accountability partner and tithing.
• If we had a greater connection with the Father, we would be more equipped to make decisions, we would be more aware of what is actually happening and we would have the authority to banish Satan from our thoughts.
• What would we do differently if we could see as God sees? One common theme was evaluating your own motives. "Am I saying this because I need to deal with a situation or am I saying this because I want to hurt this person?" Pastor Art Evans during a sermon on Jonah said, "We judge ourselves by our motivations and others by their actions. That's dangerous!" How true. What are our actions saying about us? Also can we see the motivations or perspectives of others before judging them?

Am I disturbed?

I found this tonight on Perry Noble's blog and it blew my socks off! He found it in a book where the author quoted Sir Francis Drake's prayer:
“Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves. When our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little. When we arrive safely because we have sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us, Lord.”

Amazing...I want that so much! I don't want to stay in the same ol', same ol', but I'm just realizing what sacrifice, what trust it takes to dream big dreams and trust that the Lord will be faithful to the vision he's placed in your heart.
I'll be chewing on this one for awhile...

Faithful

It was a tough read today, not due to anything being terribly difficult to read, but mostly the application part. In Genesis we find Abraham pulling the same stupid stunt he tried in Egypt and oh look, it backfires on him! I love how Abraham tries to pull the "Well, it's kinda true," line off, but it's obvious to everyone that he purposefully deceived Abimelech to save his own hide. But despite Abraham's stupid idea, God was still faithful and basically saved Abraham (and consequently Sarah) from himself. Not only that, right after, we read of the birth of Isaac...God continued to be faithful despite the sceptical laughter and the repeated poor decisions.

Now it's easy to sit back and criticize Abraham for his faults, but tonight his dilemma hit home for me. I've been in the process of researching international teaching opportunities and in the early fall I had been looking at one particular recruiting fair in Iowa. I was so excited to go, I had the application ready and everything...but one thing after another kept coming up until it was a very definite "NO" from God. I was devastated and really didn't know what to do next. Well, a few weeks later I discovered another agency that would be less expensive(free) and their fair would be much easier to attend. Within weeks I was accepted by the agency, registered for the recruitment fair, booked the hotel and airfare at unheard of discounts (my airfare was $5, I'm serious!)...everything had God's fingerprint on it. The problem is there aren't a lot of good schools attending. In fact, none of my first choice schools are going at all. It's been a struggle to try to understand, "Okay God, you're sending me there, what do you want me to do?"

Tonight I hit a breaking point. I found out all my top schools are attending not my fair, but the fair in Iowa. Here I am trying to make smart decisions about my future and it just seems that what I really want isn't happening. I considered changing plans and going to Iowa or possibly flying to another fair further away. Then I reread about Abraham. God promised him a son and he waited and waited, not a few months like me, but years and years. And I realized I was looking for an "Ishmael", the easy way out, the shortcut. I wanted God's best but I wanted it my way which really isn't God's best is it?

So once again I'm learning the hard way to be faithful because God is faithful. It's very clear that I'm not in control of anything, God is and quite frankly that's really scary.

Psalm 8

I could blog on this and discuss all the intricacies of this psalm, but I think that would cheapen it a bit. David says specifically that it's for the choir director. So I'm having my little brother and 70 of his college buddies under the direction of Harold Clousing tell you about Psalm 8 in a way that really connects with me. Hopefully it will bless you as well. Click below to listen to the Azusa Pacific University Men's Chorale sing "The Majesty and Glory of Your Name".

Modern Day Miracles

Reading through Genesis today it really hits home the point that God sticks to his end of the bargain even when we humans are ready to bail out or manipulate the situation. Earlier we read that Abram believed God's promise for a son and it was counted as righteousness. But years have passed and nothing. So we have the messy deal with Hagar and Ishmael (who consequently God still protects and blesses...what a gracious God we serve) and then end up with Abram becoming Abraham, Sarai becoming Sarah and both being personally visited by God to once again remind them of His covenant. We know how the story goes. Isaac is born, a miracle baby, and God's covenant is fulfilled.

That's great, we think, sitting at the kitchen table or lounging on the couch. But miracles like that just don't happen nowadays...or so we think.

When I was home for Christmas, I went to church with the folks expecting the regular "it's almost Christmas everyone!" message. Boy, was I ever unprepared. Pastor Dennis' son and daughter-in-law had been praying for a child, but the daughter-in-law had had cervical cancer at an early age and had major, damaging surgery to the point where the doctors said no amount of reconstruction or treatment could ever help her get pregnant. Dennis's wife, Betty, was devistated since she always wanted to be a grandma. She was praying with her friend, Sandra when Sandra told her, "I see you being a grandma. I just know you will." So they prayed for a miracle.

Well, at this point, Pastor Leo who was telling the story broke out in the biggest grin you could ever see. He looked over to the right side of the stage where Betty was coming up the stairs, holding her grandson.

When Dennis and Betty's daughter-in-law had gone to the doctor because she was not feeling right, they had thought the cancer had come back. They were totally unprepared for what the doctors found. She had been healed...completely healed. Every piece of flesh that had been surgically removed had grown back perfectly. The doctors said they had never, ever seen this sort of thing. Not only that, but she was pregnant.

So the day before Christmas Eve Dennis and Betty, their son and daughter-in-law had come to dedicate that little boy, a complete and utter miracle, to God. In his prayer Pastor Leo reminded the congregation of similar little boys who were medical miracles...Isaac, Samuel, John, Jesus.

The whole situation threw into my face my own complete lack of faith. So often when people are healed we credit medical science or good timing for what happens instead of praising our El-Shaddai, our God Almighty. It really made me wonder, when have I ever trusted God with a miracle? When have I ever prayed, really prayed for a miracle, something that only He could do? When have I ever trusted Him that much, given Him that worry and completely rested in His sovereignty?
As my favorite poet T.S. Eliot wrote, "...humility is endless." How true, how true.