Dealing with Disappointment

After a week of waiting and praying, several international phone calls and lots of positive feedback, I got a message back from my possible employer. The answer was no.

In some ways I had been preparing myself for that answer
1) because everything seemed too good to be true and
2) because I had been rejected by so many schools before this one.

But on the other hand what makes this such a disappointment was that yesterday was the first day I really let myself dream the "what ifs". What if this really worked out, what would life be like? What if I had to start packing and this and that. I had so many friends and relatives and random people who were so excited for me that it was easy to fall into the "I've got it in the bag" mentality.

And it's hard to go through 6 months worth of rejection then hear that someone is super excited about you and thinks you're wonderful and just perfect but... That's almost worse than the standard "Thanks for applying, but..."

So this is where the rubber meets the road so to speak. I have a choice:
1) Give up, second guess God and my calling, fall back into what is comfortably mundane and close off my heart or
2) Cling tightly to God's promises, thank Him for what He's done and listen closely for the next step.

I'm sticking with choice #2 simply because I've seen too many people fall into #1 and live the rest of their lives unhappy, bitter and just generally unfulfilled.

And God, as ironic as He is, gave me what I wanted: the approval of people. And you know what? It still didn't work out.

Anyway, this seems a bit rambling, but so do my thoughts today. Part of me still wants to cling to a job that no longer exists and the other part knows I need to learn my lesson well and move forward.

As Perry Noble said, "God does a work in you before he does a work through you." Apparently, my in isn't done yet.